Summary of 2016

January

• Climbed the hill park nearby our residency. 
• It was really satisfying, but the climbing journey was HELL.
• Webcam with my new found BF, he wanted me to wear tudung everytime i webcam with him.
• He saved a kitten from his university (he was a lecturer there) and fell in love with the kitten
• Accompanied him to his friend's wedding as a plus 1 and he introduced me as his gf to his friends, it was really sweet.
• went out on a date with him at PD, brought him to see a cat cafe but the cats over there looks very sick and disappointing.
• My sister bought her very first car.
• Bf brought another kitten home he found from a nearby restaurant, to accompany the one he already had.
• Took half day off work to treat myself an expensive dinner in manhattan fish market
• Brought BF to Ikea in cheras. 
• He looked seriously handsome without the glasses and when he gel his hair, but he was pulling on my trolley most of the time we were there like im a kid that needs guidance over the place.
• Treated him meatball in IKEA as he wanted it for his birthday
• LOST MY FUCKING SAMSUNG NOTE 4 I BOUGHT FOR RM2k
• SOMEONE FUCKING STOLE IT.
• Saw a dead body in the middle of nilai highway on the way back while i was panicking.
• He calmed me down, comforted me and sounded extremely calm instead of feeling annoyed that i was panicking.

February

• BF took a new pic for his motorcycle license when he was on the way to go for friday prayers, and he showed that his new license look like he was some religious person as he was wearing kopiah 
• Work, work, work

March

• Travel to taiping all by myself, because i wanted to see if i can travel and have a holiday alone
• It was kinda depressing, although i proved myself i can do it.
• People were watching me when i ride that cycle boat thing on the lake because i was riding it alone and that i was fat, causing the boat to tip heavily in one side while i was cycling
• Went to the river and took a bath there alone too, with several other strangers there. it was freaking cold, and it was also depressing.
• Learned how to cook, and it was not half bad. It was edible at least although it does not look good.
• Went out on a date with the BF again, bought myself a good headphone.

April

• Went for Bekam Angin for the first time.
• It was Meh~
• But the aftermath for it was the WORST.
• It causes me to be infected by some skin fungus that tore into my skin on my arm, and especially under my breasts.
• I didnt know it was a fungus and when i went to the clinic, the stupid fucking doctor could not identify what it was and gave me wrong medicine.
• I ended up suffering (IT WAS FUCKING PAINFUL AS HELL) for a week before i decide to visit a different doctor.
• The second doctor immediately know what it was that i have contracted and gave me a proper medicine.
• It healed in just a few days.
• HELLISH NIGHTMARE EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.
• Learned how to cook mac n cheese
• Cheese was too thick and ended up sticking the macaronies altogether
• Went to the KLCC exhibition centre to accompany the family to visit some electronic kitchen stuff

May

• Date with BF and dragged him to the Melaka Tamingsari tower.
• Was driving and got stuck on a t junction for a very long time so i decide to just drove out despite the heavy ongoing traffic both sides, causing a motorbike to nearly ran over me.
• Went against his advise and he was extremely pissed, that was the first time i saw how bitter he can be when is angry (he is VERY cold and strict when he is pissed)
• It was an awkward journey to the tower, i didnt want to talk to him as i was upset but i had to ask him for directions so i had to pretend i was okay.
• I apologized to him on the tower and he was immediately okay and hugged me and said its okay, and that he was sorry for scolding me
• Dragged him to the Oceanarium in melaka and saw extremely interesting stuff there, and he hugged me by the shoulder for the first time, i melted.
• Oh, and he was bald too. GOD, i loved his hair sigh.
• He brought me to taste a very expensive but quality western dinner, it was GOOD.
• A few days later, he came to see the family for the first time
• It was awkward. He looked very kayu and also sounded kayu despite his best effort to try and be friendly.
• Went for a vacation at Pulau Perhentian with my friend and her colleagues
• Summary : it was TERRIBLE. Learned never to go on a vacation with strangers again, and also not with a group of people.
• Her friend and his wife was driving and sitting on the front seat, she turned the volume for the radio so fucking low due to her headache that we cant hear anything.
• My friend insisted the guy driving on the way as she felt she can rely on a man to drive late at night as she think it was dangerous for a woman to drive at night.
• That stupid friend of hers nearly crashed the car as he was extremely sleepy and almost caused the car to crash on the roadside.
• I could have drove, seriously, i dont fucking mind driving at night and it was way better that i take control over the vehicle than him anyway
• Reached the place, it was BEAUTIFUL.
• but it was also FUCKING HOT. 
• The chalet her friends booked was EXTREMELY TERRIBLE. It was just a cheap ass chalet and it felt like we were sleeping in just a box of poorly made wooden tent.
• It was HOT, and there was no air cond, nor wind back there. The place was also dirty. The toilet was hopeless, dirty, and looks like it was gonna break anytime.
• Snorkelling experiences was AWESOME. I got over my fear of snorkelling and manage to get an extremely good view of the ocean life.
• Manage to see sharks in front of my eyes, and also a TURTLE THAT ALMOST CRASHED INTO MY FACE I PANICKED LIKE HELL
• Fell in love with one of my friend's colleague there who turned out to be really old, but the only problem was that he was a softy (but a serious metrosexual kinda guy)
• Corals was awesome
• Accompanied BF to an interview as a lecturer in a navy military place. He looked smart with the suit and coat, but i wish he had hair tho.
• Went to the Pudu Kota Raya with family to shop for cheap clothes there. i ended buying a few although i hate shopping for clothes, because the clothes was so god damn cheap and comfy.
• Booked a room and stayed a night in KL, it was an okay place but it didnt have windows.
• Enjoyed the bathtub tho.
• Learned to cook aglio olio
• It was DELICIOUS.
• Treat myself to this burgerplace near my workplace, the portion was HUGE that i had to cut the burger in half, and it could actually feed 2 people.

June

• Went to Aquaria KLCC alone, because nobody had money nor time to go with me.
• It was a lovely experience and it was so cool to see the fishes.
• Although it really felt depressing to go to the place alone.
• Learned to cook a fish, presentation was the worst, but the taste was okay.
• Went on a date with BF again and ate at the expensive western dinner to try something else

July

• Celebrated Raya at Rembau, my dad's side again.
• Nobody was in kampung except our family, as usual.
• Enjoyed playing firecrackers and fireworks with my sisters and family
• Had a good day at work, and a peaceful one too
• Until i came back from work to my car and found out it wouldnt start because the battery died.

• BF had to manage an event and hosted it too.
• He sent a picture of him wearing Baju Melayu, but he looked god damn awfully selekeh and sloppy due to his hair and facial hair.
• I had to edit and crop together a picture of him from his instagram and from our first date to remind myself that he doesnt look like that all the time and he was actually very handsome.
• Brought him on a date to a more quality cat cafe in setia alam.
• Place was very nice, and the cats look very cute and healthy, although it is annoying because we were not allowed to carry or hug them, we can only touch and pet them.
• bought his PC case, a white one, because i wanted a square case. But i did not know it was HUGE. 
• I didnt like the case when i found out it was huge but had to agree anyway because it was too late to back down from the request 
• A close cousin gave birth for the first time in their family, so we have a baby in the close family for the first time.
• Attended a company dinner with themes movie character. But i was too lazy to dress up as a movie character so i bought a last minute plastic tiara and wore with a dress to look like a princess.
• Dinner was actually boring because it was only mostly filled with singing performances, apart from dancing.
• jokes were lame too. Sarimah Ibrahim was the host.

August

• POKEMON GO JUST CAME OUT AND I WAS SO EXCITED
• Shockingly our close relative, a guy a year older than me just died as he slipped and fell from the roof and hit his head on the way down while he was working on fixing some wires at someones house.
• It felt extremely shocking, he was so young, and he even had a girlfriend too who was there crying. I cant imagine how she must felt.
• He was an orphan and his parents died of car crash, and now he died too, there was no heir left from his family. 
• His step sister cried like hell when they buried him but when they got back to the kampung from the funeral, they laughed and made jokes with each other like it was a celebration of family gathering, it felt really weird and disrespectful.
• We even overheard our relatives shit talk about us (me and my sisters) who said we were all very lazy people unlike our mother who is very hardworking.
• Damn, two face motherfuckers man, they all pretended like we were the most nicest and loveliest people on earth whenever they meet us, they even hug us and kiss cheeks and whatnot with us, what a fucking snake those bitches be.
• I left the funeral early the next day to meet my BF as it was WAY BETTER to see him than them.
• Went out to get ice cream and went to the beach with him, although it was hot, it was worth it. he even helped me catch some pokemons on the way.
• Received two certificates showing my zero unplanned award.
• Brought my sisters and him to the waterpark in A famosa, they met him for the first time and spent the day with him.
• He was handsome as hell.
• Was embaressed in front of him as i was stopped by the life guards from riding a waterpark ride due to my weight. He felt really sorry for me being fat, i hated that.
• He tried to be friendly and funny when he pushed me and my floats (and my sisters too) to the deepest part of the waterpark pool, and left us there. But i nearly DROWNED AND WAS STRUGGLING TO KEEP AFLOAT DUE TO MY HEAVY WEIGHT.
• My sisters didnt appreciate him doing that too as they felt like he was bullying them.
• Went out to PD with my family, and it felt great, hanging out with my family as a unit. We rarely do that nowadays
• Renovation starts for the home, damn the house was so god damn messy
• Attended a course for work, it was boring and ridiculous, They taught me to think positive and not be angry and 'get myself out of the box' when i was pissed. That is ridiculous. When you are pissed, you cant control it, you cant just simply snap yourself into happy mode when you are mad. Thats just stupid. You have to vent out and let it cool first.
• Went to a cat cafe nearby our home, it was okay and the cats were adorable
• This time we get to hug and kiss them as we please
• Stalked on my BF's ex profile, was suprised to find out he broke up with her using email. what the hell man.
• bought myself a Pikachu sweater and started wearing at work. Had an extremely BIG anxiety issues the first time i wore it, because i am the kind of person who prefers to keep quiet, and because of the sweater, i highlighted myself and people started paying attention to me because of the cute sweater
• I thought, what the hell, and wore it anyway because i didnt want to have to spent money on such a cute sweater without being able to wear it
• Because of the sweater, i was forever known and imprinted myself as Pikachu to everyone at work (in a good way) and was even noticed by the big managers
• I even bought a pokeball powerbank which i LOVE IT TO DEATH

September

• Went to the KL bird park with my sisters.
• LOVING THE PLACE, it was filled with tons of rare and weird birds and they were all flying on top of our heads and even walk on our pathways, they were roaming freely in the park.
• Went on a date with BF and dragged him to eat mee asam laksa which was famous in melaka.
• We ate at a park underneath the shades beside the restaurant, and it was such a peaceful date.
• Later eat a burger and the portion was so god damn HUGE.
• Found out my favourite manager was gonna resign and i tried so hard not to cry in front of him. I love him so much despite him not knowing that due to my quiet personality.
• Almost cried when i left work and passed my thank you letter to him, and wished him the best for his new job in singapore soon. He deserves to resign from the place as he was already working there for 10 years as a manager and that his wife is in singapore. At least he can be with his wife.
• Went to the toilet after that and cried like a bitch. It was heartbreaking to see him go.
• Played with leftover fireworks from last Raya, alone.
• Had our first HUGE fight with my BF until the point of wanting to break up.
• Started when me and my sisters planned to see him on the weekend and suddenly cancelled last minute when our mom ask if me and my sisters wanna go shopping with her.
• he was extremely angry as he already cancelled his plans to see other people that day because he thought he would meet me and my sisters and have an outing.
• he went silent for a day and then he sounded okay when i called him 2 days later. I called, asking to meet him the upcoming weekend and he said okay. He even told me he wanna bring me to see his sister as he needs to visit her for something that weekend.
• A day before the weekend, he went quiet.
• Despite my calls, my long ass texts, he went QUIET FOR A WEEK, suddenly ignoring me.
• I was so upset and angry, i thought he was pulling a revenge act on me or something and it hurts, and i felt so pissed off with him being immature like this.
• After one week, i tried calling him using my mom's phone and he answered. I quickly asked why hadn't he responded to my texts. He immediately hung up.
• I got EXTREMELY PISSED OFF after he did that shit and that night, i decided to break off with him officially. I hate it that people just choose to avoid and stay silent. If you wanna break up, let your partner KNOW. So i sent him an extremely long text scolding him, RUDELY calling him a son of a bitch and an ungrateful selfish asshole for doing this shit to me, because i was so angry with him i couldnt care less anymore, and i dont even fucking care if he wants to break up at that time. I wouldnt want to be with an immature asshole.
• Then he suddenly, FINALLY replied to me saying he admits he is selfish and he is an asshole, and that if i give him time, he will call me the following weekend.
• That weekend, i brought my family for a vacation in Penang.
• Penang traffic was the WORSE.
• But the experience there was kinda okay. We ended up going on a food hunt all around penang and also visit a few attractions there.
• He did as promised and called me later that night.
• I was not mad with him anymore at the time and i talked to him about my experience in penang like nothing happened.
• He then confronted me, apologizing for his rude actions of disappearing on me suddenly
• He said its a habit of his whenever he feels stressed out or depressed, he will avoid everyone.
• Turns out he found out he was gonna get fired soon from his job, his contract will be terminated soon due to no budget for goverment education, and the visit to his sisters were not helping either. He said his sister start questioning what he wanted to do with his life, as he is getting older but has nothing in his life nor no accomplishment so far.
• I forgave him and made him promise never to do that shit again, and i apologized too for scolding him rudely back then. I never scolded anyone that rude before, and the only reason why i dare to scold him back then was because i thought we will break up.
• Surprisingly, he was extremely fine with me scolding him and he did not take it to heart, because he felt he deserved it and i deserve to be mad.
• So we got back together again
• Started to play with Mystic Messernger and LOVING IT TO DEATH
• My sister was even addicted to the game till now.
• Went to bukit bendera with my family early morning and it was so nice and peaceful because there were not too many people around in the morning so it wasnt crowded at all.

October

• Suffer a very harsh and itchy feeling on my vagina and between my thighs since in Penang.
• Didnt know what it was, and it felt painful too.
• Took a few pictures and tried the fungus medicine i got back then, and amazingly it went away in a day, turns out it was the same bloody fungus infection.
• Celebrated brother's bday at the secret recipe but somehow the waiters there were like shit and keep serving foul milk.
• I talk shit about the waiter's service, not realizing she was behind me all this time. Shit.
• Went out with my friend and tried bow and arrow sport for the first time.
• It felt so bad ass and cool
• But the freaking weight of the bow was so god damn heavy its tiring my arms out
• Dragged him on a date to the butterflies and reptiles park
• It was so cool to see the fishes, reptiles and crocodiles over there, although its pitiful to see they were not properly maintained (maybe due to the low budget)
• HATE THE BUTTERFLIES SECTION I HATE IT SO BAD IT WAS SO FUCKING SCARY WITH THOSE BUGS FLYING AROUND
• Sent him home and he showed me a box containing memories of him with his first loving ex when he was studying back then.
• It was so god damn sweet and romantic, they took tons of romantic pictures together and sent each other love notes. 
• I was unfortunately overwhelmed by the new info about the stuff, it was so romantic and i was so touched but it was so heartbreaking to find out he was never this emotionless asshole in first place. He actually has feelings and is capable of being sweet and romantic but he chose not to do any of those shit with me because he thinks our relationship is not serious and 'hopeless'
• He apparently always thought that i was gonna leave him eventually so he dont bother to spend his feelings on me
• i went all out on being honest with him about my feelings and how i feel so hurt and disappointed that he still dont trust me and love me enough despite everything, and i ended up bursting to tears, uncontrollable baby tears.
• He was silent all the way and he apologized, and he felt guilty and he promised me he will change and we will start over (i was actually half expecting him to break up with me)
• Went for an interview an ex friend of mine suggested me to go for and just winged it. I didnt even really want the job and didnt expect to pass.
• The interview was at night and i asked a friend/neighbour to accompany me. Pity him he fell asleep on the couch.
• Was so shocked to find out later that i DID pass the interview (i didnt know how and why) but i decide to take the offer anyway because i got tired of working at a call centre and i wanted to have some change in my life, and move on to be independent.

November

• Went out with a different friend to KL, and tried out johnny rockets
• the concept was interesting but the food was HELL EXPENSIVE
• I HATED THE MILKSHAKE IT WAS TOO FUCKING SWEET
• I didnt like the fact that i had to pay for all of it and my friend only covered RM20 for the whole food. Hers was fucking expensive too.
• Went on apartment hunt with my sister as she wanted to move in with me to start her business in KL and she found this place which is nice and peaceful.
• Immediately agreed to take the apartment.
• Went on a Date with BF and jokingly tell him i want this controller for my birthday because i wanna play games on my pc with a controller
• He ended up finding a hungry kitten right in front of A famosa building and went off to buy food for it while i babysit the kitten. We travelled there by his motorbike too and i loved it.
• We spent like quarter of the day looking at cats, taking care and feed the cats. He even contemplated on whether he should take the kitten home because he sympathize with the kitten so much.
• We spent that night walking by the river to see the lights, It was so romantic, i felt like kissing him there.
• We ended up taking pictures together instead.
• I posted our picture on instagram for the first time, introducing him to the world. Everyone was suprised, and that even my aunt and cousins were shocked to learn i actually had a boyfriend and he is very handsome.
• Sent my parents to KLIA for their 10 days trip to europe. spent 10 days living without parents, it was okay but it felt kinda lonely and awkward not having them around.
• Moved in to my new flat and brought my BF to help out carrying the stuff. He ended up carrying everything for me to the 3rd floor and not allowing me to do any work, Awwh, so god damn sweet.
• Left my job on the last day and was celebrated like a queen, everyone was doing count downs for me. Im glad i left the place in a well manner.

December

• BF followed me to my flat and me and my sister help sending him to an interview at AEON next to our place.
• He didnt get much sleep and his interview that finished late caused him not to be able to help us carry our things upstairs (we brought a lot of stuff to move in and also 2 beds)
• We went to fetch him and went to eat with him after he was done with the interview and my sister wanted to eat something else but he wanted a proper meal and suggested we go eat at his choice of restaurant.
• My sister was extremely angry and annoyed with him because she felt he didnt even help and complained he didnt sleep, which she think is not her problem to worry for and that he shouldnt complain and expect others to be considerate of him.
• After we eat, he didnt pay for anything and i ended up having to spend money for petrol to go there, money for the toll, and also money for the food for both my sister and BF, and i was very short of cash at the time. It got me upset that he didnt bother to offer to pay or even give me some money for the food or the trouble.
• After we were home, then i sent him a text explaining to him on the matter.
• He got extremely angry because he hates it when people are very frugal with money.
• He went silent for a day and then texted me back like nothing happen. Weird, but it was okay.
• Work then started at 7th dec. It was TERRIBLE.
• It was not handled professionally at all. No offer letter. no goody bag. no proper training. everything was like all over the place. Not organized or felt official at all.
• WORK WAS HELL TOO.
• Turns out they are all based on targets. Numbers. Everyone has to reach their targets, if not, you will be judged, questioned, and condescendingly judged like you are stupid, useless and unworthy.
• The whole concept of the new work is all new to me and i seriously cant get in registered in my head. I was also angry because i didnt know they will actually test us with exams for presentations on every group without even allowing us to see the slides.
• This is just fucking training and they are SUPPOSED to give the training to us, but they act as if we OWED THEM SHIT BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY WERE WILLING TO SPEND TIME TO TEACH US ABOUT STUFF.
• Fuck this shit man i seriously hate the company.
• This company makes me miss call centre and i feel so stupid and judged everytime because i failed to meet my target every single day.
• I have to find people from an engineering background with YEARS of experiences, and it HAS TO BE A FUCKING WOMAN. WHAT THE FUCK. FINDING EVEN ONE WOMAN FOR THE JOB IS NOT EASY BUT THEY WANT ME TO FIND 15 EVERY DAY. 
• FUCK THIS SHIT.
• I contemplate on resigning everyday but apparently i manage to get my unemployed bf to get a work in that company so i guess thats good news. But its concerning too because now he will actually see how i am at my workplace and how badly i performed.
• I dont know yet. I really hate the mentality of the people there who solely work for numbers and targets and judge me for not achieving them. and understanding the engineering requirements is DAMN HARD. 
• I FUCKING HATE THE JOB.
• on the good note, i get to spend my bday with my BF and he actually gave me a controller i wanted!
• We spent the day watching movies, and i bought an assasins creed movie i expect to watch with him at pavillion on midnight.
• Turns out it was bought for the fucking next day. I fucked up on my bday.
• I was so upset because i feel guilty that he has to stay in KL because of my stupidity until next afternoon, he was supposed to ride back to melaka but he comforted me, saying its okay.
• We finally went for the movie the next day and the movie was CRAP.
• By the end of 2016, he manage to find a place in KL to stay and i went to see him at his new place, it was extremely dirty and unsafe and bad. Me and my sister almost considered finding a place there, luckily we didnt.
• He lives with an athletic guy, another guy, and there's this single father with 2 teenage sons living with the dad in the master bedroom, that is just so fucking weird.
• I spend the morning with him sitting on a bench in front of his place, and we talked. It was strangely peaceful. the view was good too as it was on the 13th floor.
• He confessed to me he loves me! I was so shocked and i laughed, i told him i have been waiting for so long for him to say that.
• Then he confesses of us actually getting married soon. This time for real. He finally show his true feelings and confessed to me he really loves me and he is very afraid that i will leave him for another guy. He is very concerned that he was not able to make me happy.
• That is just the sweetest thing ever. Now i finally realized he actually really do loves me.
• We finally talk about actually getting married and kids and where to live and stuff. About our future. It was so nice, and i loved it. We are finally progressing to the next stage.
• I told my mom about wanting to marry him and she didnt take us seriously.
• Apparently to her, it felt like we are still just kids and we arent serious nor ready to get married at all, and she kept saying to wait first and save money for the future. WHAT THE HELL.
• New Year, i ended up spending the night watching youtube and extremely tired, and my family all do things in their own room. no celebration at all. It was just so sad to see this family not being a unit, everyone was minding their own business.
• I regret not staying with my BF instead for new year, we could have spent the time watching the fireworks and actually have some fun.
• Spent my last day off at home cracking my head finishing the last exam for this STUPID FUCKING JOB.
• FAILED ONCE ON THE ASSESSMENT AND I ONLY HAVE 2 TRIES LEFT AND I WAS SO FUCKING STRESSED I NEARLY CRIED I SERIOUSLY HATE THIS FUCKING JOB.
• Luckily i passed the second try. THANK GOD!!!

So thats the end of my 2016. I really hope 2017 will be good to me, i really hope i will stop hating this job soon, or the least of it, i hope i can find another call centre job or something else instead.

I hope that i will either progress to getting married or even have him as my fiance by 2017, and married by end of 2017 or early 2018.

Oh, he told me he is okay with me not working once we have kids, so i can focus more on my kids. I was so god damn happy.

And i also hope i will actually lose weight this 2017.

Please.