Sunday, 25 March 2012

My Ambition

You know... I have this strong envy everytime i hear this kind of conversation.

Person 1: Hey, long time i hadn't heard from ya. What are you doing now? Working somewhere?

Person 2: Nah, i'm writing a book now. Working on a novel.


Person 2: I'm working on a script right now.

I wish i can say the same words. I wish i can do the same thing...

I want to write, but i've lost all hope and motivation.

I envy those people who works on what they love doing best. I want to live that kind of life as well. To just... Sit on a comfortable chair, facing the book or computer, around a comfortable space... And just... Pour out my mind, forming written words on that sheet of paper. Totally sunken deep in my own world, my own thoughts running active without a care in the world and simply lets the time flows by like water.

There was a period when i was in that state of mind. I ignored my friends, homeworks, classmates, teachers, everything... and sync deeply in my own thoughts, running them on scraps of papers. I was fueled and burn with passion, writing non-stop with my chest feels heavy as it was filled with total suspense. Could even barely stopped myself from writing.

I've experienced that moment, but it was a long time ago.

I missed it.

I'l be happy enough to live a simple life where my work is just finding inspiration to write, face the computer, and just write, write and write.

Can i have that?

Friday, 2 March 2012

The Road not Taken

I feel lost for a while.

I still am not sure which path to choose from here.

I still am not sure where to begin my first new step.

Please, Lord, give me a sign.