Friday, 25 February 2011


U have no idea how i suck terribly at teaching.

Teaching ain't my thing.

I suck so bad that the students didn't even stand up when i am in class. Talking about respect! What makes things even far worse is that some even sleep in class when i'm teaching, and countless others just simply prefer talking among themselves than paying attention.

I got so angry that i literally shout my lungs out.

Which then caused me to lose my voice.... Until today, until at some point i can only speak in whisper.

Which then some rude students mocked me by imitating how i talked when i lost my voice (because of them!)

I do not enjoy teaching. I enjoy organizing things, not teaching.

I enjoy travelling (i think) or working in a hotel. Perhaps something regarding the hotel management where i can organize stuff.

And talking about endless work to be done! Proposals, choirs, lesson plans, warden duty, and term paper...

And more unknown works yet to come.

I think my blood pressure is raising already.


p/s: currently having a rocker's voice.

Monday, 21 February 2011

a Simple Update

Sorry for not updating this blog. Have been ultimately busy with 'a new working life' as a teacher in smv *toot*. There are a few issues that i would like to stress out here regarding my busyness.

1) Suspected to have high blood pressure since i'm experiencing weird symptoms such as the sudden deaf of left, right, or both ears each time after ive finished eating

2) almost lost balance and went unconcious number of times

3) made the teachers to start rivalry with each other

4) problems with the new warden who is just never reliable

5) research that is still pending but with the dateline approaching.

6) often lack of sleep.

7) eating disorder

There's more. I'll keep updating when i have free time. But for now, i'm just not feeling well enough to write too long. Adios~

Thursday, 10 February 2011

Students sleeping in class? Karma!!


Burnt one period lesson cuz i thought the lesson starts at 9.50am.

It actually starts at 9.15am. *SIGH*

Was rushing like hell to the class and taught the class on writing while panting huhu~

Kelam kabot!

And there was this one student, keep trying to make me feel ok about missing the one period class. He's the student that i like in the class, because he has higher english proficiency and is very, very friendly with teachers.

But the thing is that half of the class was asleep, and absent. But i had no time to shout or scold them. I just let them be, because i need to rush the lesson and finish it on time.

I just don't wanna care anymore if they sleeps in the class or are not paying attention. as long as they do my work and finish them on time, i am ok with it. (because it shows that they do make an effort tho they slept in class)

If they don't do my work, they need to pay rm1 to save the humiliation. If they refuse to pay, i'll tell them to stand outside. if they still refuse, i'll tell them to stand inside the class. But if they STILL refuses (trust me, i've faced these kinds of students, stubborn like a freaking donkey), i'll just write down their names to deduct marks from their disciplinary points and send their names to the PK HEM for him to deal with them.

I had enough shouting and forcing the students to wake up and pay attention when they can't do that. I'll remain indifferent from now on. My rules are easy. You can sleep if you want, as long as you understand my lesson and finish my work. I will be a good friend if you don't make me your enemy.

(bak kata Phantom of the Opera: i am a good friend, but a bad enemy)

Will start teaching them vocabs using songs next week. huhuhu~

p/s: burn 1 masa, tak dapek nak main game da dengan diorg haiyoh~

Sunday, 6 February 2011

I hate the ending of holidays~ urgh~

Holidays have finally meet its end.

Tomorrow i'll be starting to face those havoc and noisy students again, and start teaching.

Tomorrow, i need to learn classroom management. I need to find a way to shut the students up and being able to control them when the supervisor is observing me.

I need to train them on how to behave.

But how?

Any ideas?

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Where have i gone missing?

it has been a while since i've written something in here.

Sorry, its not that i don't know what to write. Its just that, i've started being so busy, too busy to actually sit down and write stuff ever since i've started my 'so called carrier' as a teacher.

A lot happened to me during my times at school. And i have never thought i could be someone i am not when i began to teach these school kids.

I've never thought i could actually shout at the kids, MALE students specifically!

Why you might ask? Because when i was at their age, 16 years old, i have NEVER dared to speak to any male students. Heck, they too did not even try to chat with me whatsoever. And so i remain the most quiet female student in the class.

Same goes when i reached 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 and now turning 22. Except that, the level of not-having-the-guts-to-speak-to-male-humans have lowered after i started my degree. But only a BIT! i still don't have the guts to make the first move to start conversations with male people. But at least i can continue to speak to them once they started talking to me. ONLY IF THEY MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.

And now, being a teacher with 99% male students in the class, i even need to SHOUT at them to get back inside the class and for them to SHUT UP when i'm teaching.

That is soooo unlike me. I never dare to speak to male people, let alone shouting at them. It doesn't matter if they are only kids or older than me, i still don't have enough guts to talk to males. And i mean here by face to face, not from the internet or phone.

And i have never thought i can actually teach these kids.

I have never even thought that i won't feel nervous when teaching them!

I feel teaching these kids and being in a real-life situation is far exciting and fun than doing micro-teaching with your own classmates. When i perform micro-teaching with my classmates, i felt nervous like hell that my heart feels like it's gonna jump out of my chest through my throat and my hands turning as cold as ice.

But when i entered real classes and teach real students, i don't have that nervous feeling anymore. in fact, i feel so calm and cool that i can even joke around with these kids, wake them up when they are sleeping in my class, and shout at them to shut up.

I never dared to do such thing when i teach my own classmates.

Honest confession, i love being a teacher.

I love it when the students actually are curious of knowing so many things. I love it when the students actually dared to be so participative and 'berebut-rebut' to answer my questions. And i love it when these curious students do not feel afraid or shy to call me and ask me if they do not understand what i taught them, or if they do not know how to spell, pronounce, or form a correct sentence.

Maybe i showed them a friendly face, which makes them feel comfortable enough with me to ask a lot of things and dared to participate. They do not fear to give out answers because i make them feel comfortable and feel that its ok to make mistakes. My class is active (because they just can't stay put and always walking around sitting here and there) and VERY noisy, which causes me to shout most of the times for them to shut up =_="

(p/s: until a student actually told me "teacher stay cool, teacher! relax!")

But the noise that they are making is mostly 'learning' noise, not the noise they make when the teacher is away. By 'learning' noise, i mean the noise they make when i ask them questions when teaching them. The noise they make when 'berebut-rebut' to answer my questions.

Which means they are actually paying attention and listening when i am teaching, rite? :P

And i love this one particular student whose english is actually very good comparing with his friends in the class. He is always the one who manages to answer what i ask correctly.

But the part i hate most of while being a teacher is when:

1) i need to do lesson plans

2) i need to do extra admin + co-curriculum works.

-.- I HATE doing them.

But seriously, teaching is... Sorta fun actually.

Only when u get participative and active students like mine (^_^)

NOT the passive kind who stays quiet and silent when i teach and (especially) when i ask them questions. (because they do not dare to answer, feeling shy or afraid if they get the wrong answer)

But then.... I still want to try and be involve in tourism or hotel world, my first option for my carrier. Maybe being a teacher can wait until i am married.

Now my only concern is.... That... If these kids are able to take care of their manners when the supervisor visits me. (since these kids are VERY LOUD and noisy =_=)

Hopefully these kids can behave when my supervisor starts observing me haih~