On my way back home, i had a lot in my mind that i feel like sharing with everyone.
I had thoughts about death, about carrier, about social & love life, about how cute some of my students are, and many more.
But as soon as i reached home and turned on my laptop to write it all down, my mind went totally blank. There were too many things to write about that i don't know where on earth to give it a good start.
First of all, i just can't wait to end my university life and start my carrier, my working life. I can't wait to have my own home, my own car, and be independent. I can't wait to start a new love life, marriage, have children of my own, etc~
The point is, i just can't wait to move on to the next level in life.
Secondly, the last 2 days one of the best moments in my life (^_^) went for a vacation (literally! not just following dad with one of his work trip, but literally paying the hotel using our money and travel there to have fun and spend some quality time together!). Other than that, i don't know why but throughout the whole vacation trip, my good friend Shakir accompanied me. He even called me a few times! talking about a miracle! why? because since he became a state football player, he'd been super busy and rarely contacted me. And i sort of merajuk with him afterwards. and he promised to change, and he did. I felt as if he's my BF accompanying me on my vacation trip with my family and getting my updates all the time while i'm away (tho the fact is that he never will be). And aside from that, of course, the moment of playing Pictionary with my family was the best moment ever. It was the very first time that we sat together and play. I never regret buying that game tho it was hell expensive, because if it is to compare with the memory we had, the moment was definitely priceless (^,^)
The only sad moment during the vacation is that... I felt so 'alone'. Ya know, that being-single-type-of-loneliness. I imagined how nice will it be to go for a vacation with my husband one day and go for a romantic walk along the beach or swimming in the ocean together, and got back to our hotel room and cuddle together.
If only that can happen. *sigh*
Thirdly, i need to return to the school and i have no idea whether i am feeling excited or reluctant to return there. I feel excited to meet the students for extra-curricular activities, but i don't enjoy teaching or being observed when teaching. Whatever it is, i am definitely not ready.
Fourth, i have decided to change my nickname 'Nizt89'. The nickname has been too famous that once a person typed my nickname on google or any search engine, my whole HISTORY within the internet is revealed, including my private notes and stuff! so i've decided to change it. Nizt89 will still be used as my identity on the internet. But i will use this extra identity@screen name for private stuff. Or maybe, i'll use both. Just to confuse these people on the net regarding who my real identity is. Nizt89 will be open for public use. but this other screen name will be my mysterious identity whereby i will not even reveal whether i am a female or a male, my age, and my race@religion, let alone the other details of me. That way, i am free to talk about whatever i want and to whoever i want without the fear of being known,judged or humiliated.
I can be free to talk about stuff i have always wanted to let out, and known only as '****'. >:)
Now, looking for a suitable symbol@picture to complete this identity.
That is all i think. *sigh* when will i ever meet the one who is right for me? huhu~