If only he could read this entry, he will be so proud! (^^)

My passion went to sleep because i was too busy with SPM finals.

The passion woke up when i was in my foundation year.

But again, it 'disappears' when my laptop was STOLEN (along with my novel documents!)

This time, the passion died instantly.

It was buried deep, deep, down inside me.

But after a year or two i think, thanks to Zack, the passion was reborn. Here's the story.

When i was playing a game in my PSP, i met Zack.

We get to know each other for a few weeks, but before i felt intrested in getting to know him better, he 'diseappears'. i gave up on him but i never forgot about him at all.

Until i decided to search for him and refresh out relationship. (^^) this time i get to know him better and even more deep. i learn a lot of stuff about his life that other rarely knows. The more i learn about him, the more interested i became. (soon i was obsessed haha!)

However one day, i found out he died (T_T) I loved him so much.

And his death has given my long-dead passion a second chance in life.

This time i won't lose it again. I won't let it die and leave me again like before. Go to hell with assignments and busyness! The passion of writting is back and that's all i ever wanted to do and felt worth doing in my life. The satisfaction of writting is paradise.

Thanks to Zack, his death will not be in vain. I promise i'll take a very good care of my passion's second life this time!

And in this new born passion & story i'm writting, you inspired the hero, zack. (^^)

I miss my passion *sob, sob*

The thing i currently hate the most.

When you've finished your assignments, the lecturers piled them up all over again.

fcuk you!

Oh but you know, now i finally manage to start off my ideas of my long-lost-passion.

There was this novel i wrote about fantasy epic adventure story, pending since i was 17 years old.

3 years pending. (0.O) until i manage to gain enough inspiration to start witting back about it.

Thanks to Zack. (^.^) i wuv yuuu shoooo much!

p/s: go to hell with assignments! i wanna write!

Freak me~

I did my best to finish ALL my pilling assignments within 3 days.

Non-stop

Yes, and i finally made it. *Yippee!* but you know, somehow after those assignments are finished, my heart seems to feel uneasy.

It was much calmer when i hadn't finish those assignments.

Somehow~ Assignments made me feel satisfied and happy in a way? (o.O")

p/s: OMG, i'm a total freak~

Please wait for me, zack~ (T_T)

I thought i would want to finish my assignments during the holidays.

Turns out my heart feels uneasy enough for me to start doing it before the holidays, thus...

Leaving the holidays for me to have nothing much to do.

I still refuse to meet zack (^^) He has to wait for me until the semester break~

Yes! manage to finally download videos to my psp!

Bring them on suckers!!!

Things are starting to get annoying.

As I have expected, there's going to be more assignments adding into the pending ones.

This ain't gonna stop until the final exam is around the corner. After that i'll be busy with studying for the fucking finals.

Looks like Zack and Cloud will have to wait for me.

So does Darkness. All of my favorites will have to wait.

p/s: Zack, Cloud, i promise i'll get this assignments done in a jiffy! Just wait for me!

Thank you, Zack & Cloud!

This is really stupid.

My obsession, ideas, and passion for witting flows non-stop at times when i feel busy the most.

And this inspiration comes from my drastic and sudden obsession towards the story line and the characters from Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core.

The idea is an epic-adventure genre; fantasy. I was stuck with the middle plot and didn't know what to insert in the story in order to spice up the conflicts in it. You know, getting it to appear dramatic, interesting, humorous, suspense and tragic.

Yeeeesssss I looooove tragic endings.

Happy endings are soooo cliche~ My aim of witting a story is to play with the emotions of my readers. Therefore the first step is the need to create a very good surrounding, story line and 'aura' for the plot and characters, getting the readers to feel very fond of them, to feel very close with the characters.

The next thing that happen will be of my power. *evil laugh*

I just hope this passion of mine will stay long enough until i have free time to re-arrange the plot, because i'm too busy to do anything this month (T_T) damn you, presentations and assignments!

p/s: my inspiration & passion always come and go. They're never going to stay permanently. I just hope it last long enough, i want to do this!. Pweeeeeeze!

I'm freaking obsessed with this!

I'm currently obsessed with the story line of Final Fantasy VII Advent Children & Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core.

The two games/stories are actually related.

Which got me seriously curious to know what's going on.

What actually happend to Zack and Aerith?? Did they die?? Cuz in the Advent Children, they both were potrayed as dead souls and somehow their deaths are related with Cloud until it causes Cloud to feel guilt-ridden for the rest of his life!

WHAT DID CLOUD DO?!!!

I saw something very hard to believe.

Ok, last night after i watched a movie, i saw something interesting.

There was this couple walking right in front of us. They looked sweet and loving.

Holding hands.

But here's the catch.

The boyfriends seems cute, average size body, stylo~ wearing those trendy glasses.

However the girlfriend? ermm.....

Big-Ass, Fat (fatter than me seriously) 'unstylish' and she wears those scarf tudung which really shows your chubbyness.

Long story short, she's not THAT pretty and she's really....Fat.

With a cute and gorgeous boyfriend who isn't fat, and even stylish and cute.

AND THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS!

OMG. How on earth can she have such a cute boyfriend?! (0.0) I seriously cannot believe this.

Because if she can, i also can! *insert evil laugh here*

I don't want him to leave~ (T_T)

Ok, lets NOT talk about pending assignments shall we? I want to talk about something else.

Erm... Just like i've mentioned, although the pilling work looked hectic, however i feel that my life is going smooth and clean.

Things are getting even better when i found out (accidentally) about somebody who lives just next door. I felt that FINALLY i have a 'guy friend' that i'm able to hang around with whenever i'm bored at home. Even better because we can just walk to each other's house to meet up and hang out.

*sigh* i don't understand whenever it's just a coinsidence or 'fate'.

Because our birth date also falls on the same 'day' which is the 21st.

But things will always messed up again whenever it's going pretty well.

He had to move either to another place further from my house or he'll quit his job and stay in his permanent house in Penang.

Somehow the news.... 'broke' my heart.

Cuz I'm gonna be alone all over again.

Now stranded at home~

Finally, i'm home after 3 weeks stranded in the middle of the palm tree jungle~

The first thing on my mind right now is downloading games in it.

After that, Movies~ LOL.

Hmm... Next? Thinking of eating something luxurious~

Or perhaps enjoying myself to go to places like....erm.... KLCC? Planetarium? Muzeum?

any suggestions?

Sick of assignments!

I hate flues. Hate catching a cold. Who does?

Busy week. But i don't seem to feel the busyness. I feel relaxed.

I don't give a damn about tests. Persetankan ia.

Tests = Go to Hell~!

I'm much more worried about the micro-teaching, unfinished lesson plans and unmemorized speech.

Somehow, my PSP made my heart feels much better. I just can't wait to go home and download new games in it. This time i'll save them in my laptop. a MUST.

And I have been thinking of 'balas dendam-ing' of this fucking week with nice, delicious foods that i don't get to eat everyday. Chicken Chop? Beef Steak? Lamb Chop? Pizza? Lasagna? Hurm~ what else?

Oh, and please remind me to change my fucking k770i's keypad.

p/s: Cepatlah berlalu, minggu bodoh! Aku nak cuti~!

Massacre vs Peace = ???

Studies are starting to get busy and chaotic.

But at the same time, my life seems to be looking much more calm, peaceful and under control.

I don't have that feelings of 'unpeacefulness' deep inside my heart and mind anymore.

Now that i know the truth from him, himself.

And things that motivates me to go on is:

Food & PSP!!!!!!

TESL/Studying = Waste of everything!

There's too many things that i have to finish within this month alone. Assignments, presentations, and micro teaching props. I know i can do this. I can. I can finish them all. It's not that hard. I just need to find the right time to do them.

Oh, okay. Not to mention a bunch of tests and exams.

THAT, i don't think i can score. (T.T)

Huhu... Looks like the ipod touch window shopping session will have to be postpone!

I haven't even started the conversation analysis and Gender & Age speech yet huuuuuu~ *Crying*

Fcuk tesl!!!! Arrrrrrrgggggh~!!!!

But you know, these damn assignments made me ponder something...

Terasa belajar adalah perkara bodoh kerana kita perlu keluarkan duit beribu-ribu untuk dapatkan ilmu yang boleh didapati untuk percuma. Perlu rugi sampai beribu-ribu ringgit untuk dapatkan sekeping sijil pengiktirafan yang belum tentu ada nilai dimasa akan datang.

Seriously, i'm starting to feel like continuing studies are the most stupidest thing you have to do in the world. You're better off collecting pahala for the afterlife or starting your own business and company. Lagi berbaloi. No need wasting so much money on fucking stuffs that you doubt will be useful in your future life such as TESL studies.

p/s: Feeling like TESL is a fucking stupid course. Belajar beribu-ribu habis and you'll end up being a school teacher with low salary. THAT IS REALLY STUPID.

Go and die, jerks!

I don't understand why I have become a magnet to jerks.

Jerks as in guys who comes to me for help.

Help as in 'MONEY'.

Do you bastards think i'm that WEALTHY?!

I'm just a fucking student for god's sake! I don't have a job! I don't have any incomes! And my parents are not rich! My dad never buys me anything expensive! I use my fucking loan and my own money to buy stuff i want!!!

It's ME who is in need of money and financial support from YOU GUYS!

p/s: I'm a frickin' lady, and it works that way. (who eats the chili will know how spicy it is.)

Whoa is that really HIM?

It was early in the morning. I was with my friend, riding the KTM heading towards Bank Negara station. But at Putra, my pair of sleepy eyes caught a familliar figure entering the same train as i was boarding at that moment.

I didn't lose him. I stared at him, wondering who he was. I KNOW that i know him. And i'm very extra, super duper surely more confident when that guy (it was a he) looked back at me and shared the same expression as i do.

He too, squint his eyes and stared at me like i did to him. Both of us were staring at each other, giving that I-Think-I-Know-You-From-Somewhere look.

Yeah, I was excited at the same time because we were sharing the same expression, meaning we surely know each other.

After a few seconds, i mouthed out his name of which i think it was his name, with an expression of asking a question . His expression was the same as well, and i caught his lips mouthing out MY name! Gosh! I was really super suprised!

The guy of which i thought was him, was REALLY him! He was my loooooong lost contact relative from my mother's side! How on earth can we meet coincidentally after we have lost contact for years?

Lol the funny and astonishing thing was that he still remembers me and remembers my NAME for heaven's sake even though we have not contacted each other for years (I've always thought myself as someone invisible in the family tree). I wished we have time to chat. He still looks the same as he used too. Except that he wasn't wearing glasses. But he still is a good-looking guy without glasses. (extra cute WITH glasses!)

We failed to even chat because the situation in the train was too quiet. We were only able to mouth out a few questions because he was standing quite at further distance from where i was sitting. Deep inside i was admiring him silently. Feeling really impressive for meeting a well-known relative but was lost contacted for years.

Those memories of my childhood playing with him at my kampung quickly floods in like a waterfall. Still soaking fresh in my mind. I still remember he played Lego bricks with me and my sisters and brother. The best part was when we played Saidina together with another male relative of mine. I was always losing money to him and he was gaining so much money and build hotels here and there. He laughed like a rich man (as if) every time we landed on his property and had to pay him thousand of dollars. That was until he received the tax card. After that he quickly went bankrupt.

Yeah after that WE had a great time laughing back to his face. LOL

Those childhood memories... Ah~ so sweet. *sigh* how i wish we can still be friends again like we were in childhood days.

How i wish i had the time to ask for his number! Darn!

p/s: because he looks really handsome now huhu~ (T.T)

This is....Suprising?

God... Seriously I think this is the very first time in my life that i received too much difficult assignments and I'm letting them to keep on pilling.

Damn. I never pile my assignments. NEVER!

What's happening to me? (T_T)

I know I can finish them. I just need the right time to settle them all at once.

Oh and another news. I can't believe it that my ex that i hated (which i cursed him in this blog) has finally approved my friend's request in facebook. Why am i suprised? Because before this i've sent him a friend's request for a few times and he rejected me.

All in a sudden, Yesterday, he accepted the request along with a new picture of him posted in facebook. (He doesn't upload his pictures in any social networking website before)

Before this, he's not active in chatting or involving himself in facebook. He prefers to sink himself in online games and not be bothered by others. But now, i noticed him starting to socialize in facebook with his other office mates. He posted a lot of personal statements instead of posting stuff for Mafia Wars like he used to

Long story short? He changed a lot.

Yeah I'm definetly over him already. I don't have that love towards him anymore. But I just couldn't help myself from updating his latest news. I still want to know whats going on in that guy's pathetic little life. What happened to that jerk with that selfish attitude?

It's like you wanting to know what happened to the villain's life in a story after he was caught or being an outcast. You want to know how the villain survives his life.

Sometimes its much more entertaining to find out about a villain's life rather than a hero's.