An empty jar of?

Have you ever went through a time when you feel so empty inside?

Empty as in a full jar of candy which was SUPPOSE to be filled candies, or used to be filled with candies. Lots and lots of different sweets and candies and chocolates.

But its empty. Somehow the jar no more than only air inside.

And when you see the jar is empty, have you ever thought of changing what used to be inside it with something else?

Replacing candies with marbles for example. Lots of marbles. Fill it with marbles.

Or collection of paper stars.

Or maybe you would prefer to stick with sweets and candies?

Or maybe..... You'll just leave it empty?

I can't see my future somehow. My long-term goal. I can't see what i'll become. Everything's just so cloudy right now.

What only matters for me currently is to finish this damn degree thing asap.

After that what will become of me? i don't know.

I hate being educators. i can't realize my dreams to be a script writer because i don't have a degree in that particular field. I don't know if i can ever be a novelist since i lose confidence in my own work these days. everything's just so de-motivating right now.

And so far i fail to find a particular kind of job that could use TESL degree student other than education-related. FFFFFF~

Couldn't even focus in class recently. All i could ever think of everytime i attend classes is the moment those lecturers will allow us for break or when will they be ending classes.

Cant focus in class at all! keep on forgetting to do homeworks, forgetting to study, forgetting tp revise and delaying assignments~!

And right now my jar of candies is empty. And i don't know what should i fill it in with next.

should i fill the jar with my dreams to write? or filling it with bitter spirit to train myself to become an educator of which i truly hate the most?

Or should i just leave it empty? and being de-motivated?

Damn i need to fix myself~

Maybe i'm just feeling empty right now due to mid-sem break mood. huhu~