Jealousy? Signs?

ok here's the update i really want to record and tell you guys.

I have cleared out the questions i always had regarding the football player's feelings towards me. And he finally admitted that...

He doesn't have any sort of deep feelings for me. He only likes me and treats me as a friend.

I was more relieved than frustrated when the answer i have been looking for slipped through his lips. I have told him about my true feelings towards him, and i told him that it's ok for not being able to love me like i have loved him.

Why? I told him because i already have someone in my life.

I really don't know what thoughts were running through his mind back then. but i can hear him laugh and congrats me happily, as if he was really happy for me that i have found someone else.

The thing is, it puzzles me when he suddenly asked this question afterwards:

"If you need to choose between me and him, who will you pick?"

I was like "WTH r u asking me this? what does that suppose to mean?"

But i answered "Neither. I can't choose between the two of you of course."

"Why?" he asked me

I answered jokingly, "Because i need to see who loves me more, only then i can choose which is the best hahaha."

He laughed. Then he suddenly said this to me, which i think was led by slight feelings of envy. "you know, it has been years since i last date someone. I don't know how it feels like to date someone anymore."

"That is because you caged ur heart and forbid anyone to enter. You are the one who rejects people and not wanting to let your heart love somebody else."

"But i still can't let her go. I still love her, you know. I still can't stop thinking of her."

I sighed. "it's good that you still remember her, but that won't really do YOU any good. Try and think back, she would have feel bad for you if she sees you alone and unhappy like this. she wants to see you happy and you need to let her go one day."

He went silent for a few seconds and continued, "I visited her grave yesterday. I can still feel her being around me. I know that she's still always there with me."

And i gave him a shocking reply. i told him, "Yes, it's good that you remember her and visited her grave. thats a noble thing. but she in reality she isn't really there with you. she is there only in your heart. the reality is that she is in her grave, answering questions from munkar & nankir, facing her test in the barzarkh."

It really shut him up afterwards. Really did. I gave him an answer as if shoving mud to his face.

Then he said he need to go already, bid me farewell and promise to contact me next week as usual.

I really don't get that guy. What? your manly ego is now scratched due to me not being able to pay attention to u anymore? huh~

* * *

i went out with him yesterday. The first... date. and things went pretty well. He was in short, quite charming.

But that's not the point here. what i really wanna say is something else that i found out about him, that is quite shocking to me.

He has the exact same hands i have.

You don't understand. you know that everyone has this linings on their palms right? and if you are able to notice, everyone has quite similar linings on their palm, eventhough not exactly the same, but still similar.

Everyone's linings on their palm will have these characteristics:

1) short, half line on the first line

2) short, half line on the second line

3) the first lines on your palm will turn into a bowl once you put your right and left palm side to side.

But mine is exactly different. it has different line features than the rest. my first line on the palm is broken into two. The second line on my both my palm is very, very long until it reached to the other end of my palm. it isn't short and half like the others. its really long. and my palm doesn't have a bowl shape when i put both palms side to side due to the broken line on the first line on my left paln, and line too short on my right palm.

i have been searching for people who has similar patterns of palm lining like mine, but none of them has the exact similar pattern like mine. NONE, i tell you.

But here he is, this guy i dated yesterday. I was hell surprised when i saw his palm. he has the exact similar pattern that i have on my palm! for both palms!

and you know what? he even has a broken first lining on his LEFT palm like i do!

I was like "omg, are you destined for me?? are you the one i have always been looking for all my life? is this a sign??"

This incident, this sign still puzzles me and amazes me untill today. I have finally found the person who has the similar palm lining like i do.

And i can't help thinking of the possibility that this might be a sign that we are destined.

Who knows how it will turn out? maybe he is, maybe he isnt.

If he isn't then its ok. i can't argue with that.

But if he is, then great! all praise to the mighty Lord for the sign He showed me :)

Whatever it is, it is still way too soon to tell.

But i'll make this relationship work if he does the same too.

End of story.