Read this positively. In short, DON'T JUDGE ME.

it has been quite some time since i last wrote in this blog huh? >_< i just don't know what to talk about thats all.

My updates? well..... i've finally finished my degree. the final assignment is to finish my term paper which only has 2 chapters left...

Planning to work part time at the movies (i hope) before receiving my degree certificate, and hoping to be able to work in a hotel or resort despite the certificate for teaching. or maybe in a media broadcasting field. (regretting of rejecting mass com in the first place huhuhu~ T_T)

Currently taking piano lessons (which is a pain in the ass to learn regarding the notes stuff), and currently bored at home, unemployed while trying to finish the term paper.

Social life? currently frustrated for not being able to hang out with my friends before the practicum ends due to variety excuses such as busy finishing the term paper, parents forbid to go out, and had returned to home town a little too early.

Love life? I still don't know that yet. Everything is still in the grey area for now. I still am not sure if he really is into me and the relationship, or if he doesn't take this seriously. cuz it's too soon to tell. i will try to make things work between us but if we end up not being able to complete each other or am not happy with each other, i wont be surprised when we break the relationship afterwards.

Cuz so far he doesn't seem committed enough, and we're like.... Just fooling around... cuz i still don't feel it yet you know... the being-in-love feel like i had before. maybe not yet, or maybe never. Who knows how this relationship will turn out right? only god knows, because like i said, it is still too early to judge whether this relationship between us would work or not. Every great, loving relationship needs to start somewhere. And to me, this is only the beginning of it. The 'starting' position.

If in time it matures and turns out a great relationship, Alhamdullilah, amin, and i'll pray to Allah for this jodoh to reach marriage and last till i die.

If in time it rots and ending up with a break up, i'll just be accepting, redha & pasrah.

I won't throw in much hope in this relationship, at least not yet. I still wanna see his reaction and commitment afterwards in the coming future. and i still don't know the real him yet. (i mean, his attitude when he's angry, his habit, whether he doesn't mind doing house chores, or his real personality around people, etc.)

Oh yeah, and this time, to hell with loyalty. Loyalty comes only if he deserves it. and he needs to earn it this time. i won't give it easily like the last time. I won't let myself be the one with heartbreak of frustration this time. i had enough with heartbreak and tears

Who is the lucky guy u might ask? oh well... i won't call it lucky, tho. Too soon to be called lucky. Who knows if it turned out the other way around? I'll only reveal his identity when i am completely sure that he is the one for me. IF he IS the one for me.

Ya know what i mean?

p/s: Praying to god for jodoh to come fast after attending a kenduri kahwin lol~ XP