Pre-Suicide

You have no idea how bad i wanted it.

And just because i stood up on doing something that is right, my dream was gone.

Vanished. Poof. Gone with the wind.

The person apologized, but an apology won't be able to bring back my dreams .I felt like crying so bad the moment i heard it. But i held them back. I forced myself to burn the fuel of anger rather than depression. I hated what i heard.

Once i returned, i felt like a zombie. I never were able to reached that dream in the past. Almost, but didn't. But i didn't mourn over it whatsoever, because at least there was still HOPE.

But now... Nothing. The dream shattered to nothing. There was no hope left. None.

Today i feel as if living in an empty shell, filled with nothing but frustration & soon-to-come-depression. In the past, AT LEAST THERE WAS HOPE.

But now, there is absolutely nothing i can hold on to. Now that i've learned the facts, the light that once shone within the dark path i am going through has now disappear.

I was throwing effort to find my way out from this dark path in the past. With that LIGHT, i knew somehow or someday i will find my way to escape from the dark trap eventually. I had that HOPE.

But after listening to the cold hard fact by that person, it was as if a strong wind suddenly blew towards my face hence putting out the light.

Leaving me in the dark. Lost. No more hope of finding the way out.

And no one to help me out.

When i finally had a dream, people take it away from me.

Leaving me an empty shell.... Filled with nothingness.