I don't know to use what kind of words to actually described his disgusting selfishness.
We have been friends for so long.
He had lied to me and bragging to me about this other person's success by claiming it was his. Yes, without even the slightest feeling of embarrassment AT ALL.
Why? His excuse was to 'punish' me for my 'lies and sins'. But then there was no need for him to actually dragged that lie for months if it was for the cause of punishment right? But yes, he did it anyway, and i suspect it was due to enjoying the attention i'd been giving to him when he bragged about the fake success of his.
We have been friends... Good friends... For so long... And he made me think he was actually a good male best friend of mine (finally) who actually cared for me. He made me think he likes me and that i am his best female friend too.
Turns out, the truth unfolded just a few minutes ago by DESTINY.
Turns out he was lying to my face all these time i trusted him, and worse, had FEELINGS for him. He never trusted me, he never cared for me.
In fact he only used me as a tool to cure his boredom and more sinister stuffs.
I was only a tool. I meant nothing to him. Zero. Nothing at all.
I was a mere FFFFF TOOL he USED. There was never such thing as 'friendship' between us in the first place. i just realized that it was only me who got that thought of 'being-more-than-just-friends' carried away.
I wasn't even considered a friend. I was a TOOL.
Way back in the past, he used me to entertained himself when he was bored.
And he used me to satisfy his sinister desires.
But i still remained ignorant, purposely blinded myself to an idiotic faith that he actually had feelings for me but might feel shy to admit it. I had that stupid hope in myself, thinking he actually cared eventhough the signs were everywhere.
But then just now, he did it again.
When he finally got posted near me, He asked if we can meet, because he was bored and want me to take him out for a stroll in the city because he has no transport to go anywhere.
Nope. There was no words from him that indicates being excited to actually meet his best female friend (as if) at all. He wanted me to take him out to the city due to being bored and the absence of transportation to fulfill his wish.
And then it finally hit me like a ton of bricks burying me to the top.
I WAS A FFFF TOOL TO HIM.
A mere tool.
And now he wants to use me as his driver next, his means of transportation to go for a spin around the alien city he just arrived at.
He wasn't feeling excited to meet me at all. He just sees me as a TOOL for him to use now and then.
And when i got upset, he attacked me with a text message:
"Saya tak faham dgn awk ni sbnrnya. Awak nak apa dgn sy hah?"
OH... MY... GOD.
The pain struck me so deep, i can actually feel my hands trembling cold in ABSOLUTE FURY.
The next thing i know is attacking him back and shoving that act of disgusting selfishness to his face. I have been patient for too long already.
After i read the text message, all i can feel is hatred and anger to the person i have always assumed my best friend.
And strong feelings of DISGUST with his SELFISHNESS.
This time, i am not exaggerating. He absolutely disgusts me.
And then i realized, what good nor benefits has he ever done nor provide me as long as we've been friends apart from giving me false hope & misguided signs? None.
What a FFFFFF bastard you are, 'FRIEND'.
And thank you so much to God for finally opening my eyes and heart by showing to me his true nature. Thank you so, so, so much.
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